


one long farewell

by Kintsu



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 05:09:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kintsu/pseuds/Kintsu
Summary: Riko keeps trying (and failing) to break up with her girlfriend.





	one long farewell

Riko knows almost immediately that they need to break up. Her instincts scream at her every time Chika holds her hand in public, with every hug in the hall, every time Chika shyly tells her she loves her.

This was a mistake. She _knows_ it is. What are they doing? They’ve only known each other for such a short time, they can’t possibly start dating. With Love Live coming up, they have a lot to lose if anyone found out.

 _You have to end this quickly_ , she whispers to herself. _Before anyone gets hurt._

And then Chika whispers _I love you_ again. And her voice is gentle. And it’s sincere. And Riko doesn’t want to hurt her, and shouldn’t she give her a chance.

 _Later_ , she thinks to herself. _Later._

 

It’s gone way to far. It’s been over a year and Riko still hasn’t broken up with Chika yet. What is she waiting for? In a few months they’ll graduate and Riko will go back to Tokyo for music school. It’s unfair of her to keep stringing Chika along. She has no intention of doing long distance.

Riko steels her nerves on their date night when Chika tells her she has something important to tell her. She gets ready to let Chika down if anything goes further. But instead, Chika tells her that she got into a college in Tokyo. Not the same one, but it’s nearby. To Riko’s surprise it’s a pretty good one - she didn’t even know Chika was applying. Chika giggles and looks away, a blush rising in her cheeks. _Dia tutored me, she gave me all these tips._ Chika’s face is flaming red now, it’s cute. _I wanted it to be a surprise - in case I didn’t get in_.

And Riko is so, so proud of her. She knows how much Chika struggles, she’d been there through all those study sessions.

Which is why, she tells herself, she accepts Chika’s offer to live together in Tokyo. The city is expensive, she reasons. Roommates will make living easier. And she can’t break up with Chika now, not when she worked so hard.

 _Later,_ she thinks to herself. _Later._

 

They’ve only lived together for a month. The apartment is tiny, it’s all they can afford on her tiny scholarship. Chika works at a coffee shop to make her half of the rent. It’s dingy, the washing machine is small and attaches to the sink to fill up. This whole thing is too small for two people. But it’s private.

They share a room. And a bed, that’s only normal when you’re a couple. Riko keeps the bedroom door closed when people come to visit. She doesn’t know what they’ll say if they find out. But no one does, and no one says anything.

They need to break up, get separate rooms. Because, what if someone does see? What if the neighbors snoop, or a classmate gets lost looking for the toilet?

The questions fade out of Riko’s mind when they fall into bed together. They die on her lips when Chika’s press into them, pushing her smoothly and gently into the covers. Riko raises her arms around her neck and rolls over, flipping Chika onto her back.

This time Riko leans in.

 _Later,_ she thinks to herself. _La_

_t    e_

_r._

  


They graduate and find jobs. Their apartment back in Uchiura is bigger. The sun filters through the window and illuminates Chika’s collection of succulents. Their translucent leaves glow.

They get a dog.

Their silverware matches.

They invest in a bigger washing machine.

They need to breakup.

Riko tells this to Yoshiko over coffee. It’s getting too late. At some point they’ll need to be through this, go and marry men like expected.

Have kids.

The works.

Her mom is starting to ask about her dating _someone._ She means a man for sure, but Riko sometimes can’t shake the feeling she might be suspicious.

Chika’s mom gives her knowing looks sometimes. Riko can’t tell if they’re disapproving.

Chika can’t keep wasting her time on a girl. Not in a country where they can’t get married.

Yoshiko takes the biggest, longest gulp of coffee. She burns her tongue.

She calls Riko a _fucking idiot._

_You know that right?_

_That’s the reason you want to break up?_

_You can’t do that, Chika’s planning to-_

She cuts herself off and buries her face in her hands.

_You can get married in Shibuya. Or overseas._

That is technically true. Riko has done some looking. Just in case.

But that would still mean Chika would have to marry a girl.

Yoshiko shakes her head.

_Do you want to break up with her?_

_Maybe._

_It’s been over 5 years._

_Yeah._

_And you haven’t yet. What’s stopping you?_

Riko doesn’t know.

But Yoshiko does.

_Maybe you should talk to Chika._

 

Chika sits on the couch with her knees pulled into her chest. The dog sits in between them. She sinks into the couch cushions.

Riko doesn’t know what to do with her hands.

They need to break up.

Chika agrees if that’s what Riko wants.

_Is it?_

Riko isn’t sure yet.

_Is it me?_

It’s not.

For someone whose life is about to completely split apart, Chika looks fairly calm. She fiddles with something in her pocket.

Riko is not calm.

So Chika pulls her hands out of her pockets and presses them into Riko’s cheeks. She pulls her face in. Forehead to forehead. They form a steeple over the dog.

 _It’s okay._ She says.

 _I don’t mind that you’re a woman._ She says.

 _I’ve never minded._ She says.

 _Maybe I like you more because of it._ She also says.

And Riko says nothing.

She just cries instead. And Chika holds her on their couch. In their living room. In their apartment that they share.

That’s _theirs._

And when morning comes and they wake up on their sides of their bed, Chika asks her again.

_Is this what you want?_

And Riko lies there. After 5 years of trying to break up with her girlfriend and putting it off. She finally stops trying.

That weight leaves her and she wraps her arms around her and for the first time, maybe Riko will let herself just be here.

 

_No._

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to take a little break from my long work. It turns out driving 13+ hours back from college is the ideal time to think up oneshots. It also let me play around with some formats that don't really work with KIBIS, which is always a fun time.


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